The Curse of Availability
My iPhone is both the greatest and worst piece of equipment I’ve ever owned. It’s strange to find a device which is so completely far beyond the majority of the competition. While, a few years ago, most phones were happy with tiny advancements with each new iteration, the iPhone came onto the scene and simply blew the competition away. Now, other than my keys and wallet, I won’t leave home without it. Therein lies the problem…
I’m a bit obsessive — okay, quite obsessive. While a better man may have the ability to simply turn off the push feature on his phone, I can’t. This means that, other than the 5-6 hours a night I sleep, I am always available…always. If Mr. X sends an email to me, I will have received it, and at least glanced at the email within a few moments of him pressing the send button. On one hand, this is fantastic. If my boss emails me with important information, I’ll have it instantly. I’m still undecided as to whether they’re impressed by my quick responses, or disturbed. 
This also means that I’m continuously updated on life-changing important 140 characters ramblings from my Twitter buddies. On the other hand, I can’t shut down.
Especially in the last month, I’ve begun to ask myself, “Is this a good thing?” More and more, I find myself glancing at my phone during dinner, or quietly reaching into my pocket after my leg starts buzzing in a movie theater. No no… I can’t turn the thing off. Two hours without availability? How could I deal with that? On more than one occasion, my fiancée has given me “the look” – which means, turn – it – off. I suspect that many of the male readers of this blog are quite familiar with this “look.”
I find myself glancing at my phone during dinner, or quietly reaching into my pocket after my leg starts buzzing in a movie theater. No no…I can’t turn the thing off. Two hours without availability? How could I deal with that?
Not Just the Phone
But don’t forget, there’s more than just the iPhone. For some reason, I’ve found it necessary to have a Twitter client on my desktop computer, laptop, and phone. This means that beeps are heard around my entire home at sporadic intervals. Beep…beep…beep. It’s irritating – yet I won’t fix the problem!
I suppose the reason I’m writing this is because I’m beginning to feel the toll from my constant availability disorder. My eyes strain, and more importantly, it’s difficult to turn my brain off. This results in far less sleep than I require. It doesn’t help that I don’t have a specific 9-5 job either. Forum chatter, Twitter, Facebook, Yammer, new project ideas…it all adds up quickly.
My question to you is: do you suffer from this as well? If so, how do you shutdown?
Comments
Matt said...
I feel you. I’m the same way, and don’t have much advice for you. I have however started doing little things like leaving my phone at home on short trips to the store (gasp!). Also I try to leave my phone and laptop in the bedroom when I’m watching tv with the lady. Start slow and easy.
posted on November 17, 2009
Alberto said...
Yeah… it’s kinda difficult to disconnect personally my addiction is facebook…. I just said to myself .. damn you should be doing something else …. It takes me a while (quite a while to be honest) to disconnect … Being always available is bad… and so it’s not been available at all… you have to find the balance … I found myself a hobby to get away from the PC and phone and that kinda does the trick.
posted on November 17, 2009
Jarel said...
Haha, I’m in the same boat. Always three things in my pockets before I leave–iPhone, wallet, keys. I forget my wallet and my keys before the iPhone. :-S
I definitely suffer from the curse of availability as well. I was training for a bodybuilding competition before I started freelancing and once I went full time (freelancing), I had to progressively stop going to the gym because I didn’t have time. I’m finally balancing things out though and making time for the gym (I just ignore everything except my music on the iPhone at the gym) because it’s like my “get away” time.
I’ve also found that I have a really hard time watching a movie (at home) without also browsing the web or messing with apps, email, etc. It’s like I have a need for information overload or something, lol.
In regards to sleep, I’ve actually found that there are weeks I sleep much more than I used to with a normal job and very busy weeks of very little sleep and working until 7-8am (or longer). I really like it this way because things don’t get boring. I don’t want to live a mundane lifestyle.
posted on November 17, 2009
Russell Skaggs said...
Honestly, it sounds like you want to be addicted. You being constantly available though has a lot of payoffs to clients and puts you a few steps ahead of your competition.
What you need is a technology free vacation. Go camping and turn your iPhone off except for once a night to check emails and missed calls, not tweets. If you feel it would be to hard for you not to turn the phone back on, you could give your fiance control of it.
Besides the time isn’t all wasted because just being away from it all could give you the inspiration for your next great website or template.
posted on November 17, 2009
Luis Armando said...
I personally just have learned to ignore it in certain events (movies for one) and I think it’s actually healthy to turn it off at least a couple of hours if not a whole day. I mean, think of it this way, you gotta be available, true, but you also need “me time” (or at least, that’s how I think), so that “me time” is never achieved with constant reminders all over the place…but yes, it’s hard to shut if off
posted on November 17, 2009
Kel said...
I know “the look” better than anyone. I think it’s a lot easier to just leave the house without the phone than to try and control myself once it’s in my pocket. I check it (no buzz) every couple minutes. They don’t call it a crackberry for nothing. And wait a few years when the toll of the repetitive motion kicks in and your finger joints start hurting all the time when it rains. I about this ” close to moving to a little house on the prairie with running water.
posted on November 18, 2009
Kel said...
My boss finally convinced me that immediate responses reflect a lack of thought. Delaying a response adds weight and credibility to it. I used to feel the urge to respond in 30 seconds “got your message, I will get back to you soon” WTF is that?!
posted on November 18, 2009
angelmedrano said...
Ha! I think the thing that i identify the most with is not being able to “turn my brain off”. Im always conceptualizing web related stuff… I dont have a game station cause I fear I will get addicted to it and ignore my lady, but I have been playing QuakeLive recently and I find that it helps numb my brain. I think the real solution is, dun dun dun, turn it all off! ( just for a little while?) – Good luck
posted on November 18, 2009
mikeo said...
The more willing you are to respond to e-mails and such communications at all times. The more willing people will be to send you e-mails and such communications at all times. If you don’t want to be bothered by being connected all the time then un-plug. Read a book, start a hobby, do anything but wait for the next beep or email.
posted on November 18, 2009
IgnacioRV said...
Well, you can start by turning the iPhone off while watching a movie or eating with your family, believe me, it won’t suffer of lonelyness (plus, it is really annoying when someone starts answering a sms during a lunch =P ).
Then, you can start a hobby. For example besides of studying informatics and doing some freelance work, I’m also a flutist, so twice a week I meet with some friends to simply play for a couple of hours. That works for me cause for those two or three hours I’m disconnected from every days problems. I’m not saying “go learn how to play an instrument”, but “go and find anything that distracts you”.
Good luck,
posted on November 18, 2009
Mike said...
Geez, you’ve no idea how much in common do we have. I’ve suffered from this curse for a long time, until it started to have really bad influence on my life – e.g. my relationship with my fiancee.
I’ve found two ways to fight it; one is up to you, the other’s up to your partner (the more important).
What I did was:
1) I said ‘STOP’ to myself, sat down for a while and started to think about and write down all the bad things that happend or are happening because of that curse. Then I started to wonder whether it’s worth it to be always connected and up-to-date but actually see your life or relationship suffer from this, or maybe it’s something you can really drop or at least start fighting with. And that leads to:
2) I asked my fiancee for help. She already experienced every little aspect of this curse, so I told her some things she didn’t know – how hard is it for me to resist and how worried I am. Then we talked about it and came up with an idea that works for us – since then, when we are going out or have some other special occasion , she hides my iPhone, but in a way I’m not aware of. She does when I can’t see it – for example I already packed iPhone and then when to the bathroom just before we left the apartment. She pulled it out from my bag and left it somewhere home.
That way I didn’t know I don’t actually have it until I found out couple hours later. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t do anything about it – so I accepted it.
A month later I was able to don’t take it everywhere with me, or totally resist to take a look at it even for a sec.
Hope this helps a little
.
posted on November 18, 2009
eliot jones said...
Go to mexico or a country where internet connectivity is in its infancy. This is my 2nd year of doing it for at least 2 months out of the year. Man does it feel good to slow down the pace of life.
posted on November 19, 2009
Yoni Feigelson said...
Hey Jeffrey,
I followed to here from tutsplus, which i follow regularly.
I know no Javascript – and thats where i need your help.
Im trying to make an “Add to Bookmarks” button.
The buttom is anchored to “javascript:thebookmarkFunction()”.
The problem itself is in the code.
I took the code from google, but it doesn’t work in I.E.
Even though on the site its from, it works great.
Since I have no clue what this code acctually checks for, I have no clue as how to solve the problem.
function thebookmarkFunction() {
title = “The Site”;
url = “http://www.jeffrey-way.com”;
if (window.sidebar) {
window.sidebar.addPanel(title, url,”");
} else if( window.external ) {
window.external.AddFavorite( url, title); }
else if(window.opera && window.print) {
return true; }
}
I would really appreciate if you could answer my mystery.
With a Head-Up thanks
posted on November 20, 2009
Robin said...
Waiting on the bus, checking my twitter. Inside the bus, checking my email and twitter again. Bored in class? Do the same. Its a curse, and still the best piece of equipment outdoors!
posted on November 20, 2009
Ganesh said...
I am going to get one for me today.
posted on November 21, 2009
Mike said...
JW. I have simple answer to your problem . When u with you future wife , just give her your iPhone
Be always online ,it’s not a good practice , because u also need some time for yourself. When I’m at home with my gf , I put my iPhone away . And check it only once per hour . 
posted on November 22, 2009
Helios said...
Well I got my iPhone the past Saturday and I must say that I feel your pain, I do recognize the “look” from my GF (already!) and is quite hard to disconnect. However my motivation these past days is to tell me (and realize) that I am becoming less productive than before the iPhone.
posted on November 25, 2009
How to handle the iPhone addiction - Helios Designs :: Freelance Web designer :: Web :: Logo :: Print said...
[...] Jeffrey Way detailed on his “The Curse of Availability” article; on one hand you are always available for any important email or information you may [...]
posted on November 28, 2009
naveed said...
yes i did suffered !! what i did was deleted my twitter account and life is so peaceful now.. i was really sick of all those updates beep beeps
posted on December 4, 2009
Nathan said...
I don’t understand people that have push notifications for twitter, I accidently clicked mobile follow on one person and it drove me nuts for about a day till I realized what caused it.
posted on December 9, 2009
enabled said...
Yeah… I feel you… Often this is an avantage to be able to anwser and get informations very fast, As a freelancer I find it very important to get my e-mails INSTANTLY, the faster you reply the more impress the customer, the more chances of getting the job he is offering, so yes, A great invention, often I find myself sitting in bed, I`m asleep more than awake, but aaahhh, just 5 more minutes in appstore, just 5 more…
I bet you know the feeling.
The phone is great, it’s become more than a phone, but a part of me, so it’s a burden I carry with pride
I hez an iphounz , jeah!
posted on December 9, 2009
enabled said...
You should JailBreak it if you haven’t. When I had it standard, I was …nice thinggy, that’s it, now that I can do whatever the heck I want with it just from JS, oh man…I love it! You can do anything with it jailbroken, anything!!! You can even connected to the lighting system in the house
posted on December 9, 2009
arnold said...
just limit yourself with surfing in the “online world”, if you did it , reward yourself by doing outdoor stuff on weekends.
my english is bad.
posted on January 18, 2010
ThatDBD said...
Shutting down has been hard for a long while:
I get sleep deprived now and then, many times I used to use booze.
Now my own systems multitask, while a portion of me is sleeping another is taking abuse. I would advise to use this procedure: Talk to your self for a while and mentally split off a portion of your thinking pattern. Keep that part split off till you get worried about it. Then re exercise your body and make you weak from exertion each night. Use this time to reintegrate the fragment of you.
Then at will you can multilayer you mind, fully relying on one portion to do it’s job while you are doing something else with the other fully competent you. Usually it’s the retarded you that gets the repetitive grunt work, it’s cool though.
I Dun Know you are bright enough to handle a simple mental exercise.
Good Day
DnD
posted on January 22, 2010
Celwin Frenzen said...
Oh god this sounds só familiair! I just can’t go one single moment of being free without checking if had any text messages, twitter updates, calls etc etc. It’s a curse for my social life, a bless for my business.
posted on January 22, 2010
130db said...
At work.
I check mail once per hour.
I check Twitter twice per working day 9AM & 4PM
At home.
I belong to my family so it’s priority number one.
I check mail & Twitter every time I go out for smoke ~ 1.5h – 2h
posted on January 25, 2010
Simon Bouchard said...
Did have the very same problem, if I can call that situation like this! I’ve fixed this “problem” by canceling my iPhone contracts with my provider, cost me 400$. Installed my own VoIP server at the office. I don’t have a phone always ringing or beeping and I can work or sleep properly. Also, knowing that you’ll be a father soon, that’s help with priorities
I feel much better now and less stress.
posted on February 1, 2010